5 Ways To Cope With Empty Nest Syndrome
5 min readTips on how parents can deal with children leaving the coop.
I have a few friends who behave like birds. From the time their children were born, they fuss over them, making the nest very comfortable. Then ah, it’s time for the birds to fly the nest already. They sit around and mope, feeling the emptiness inside of them.
Aiyoh, I tell you, some of them are like zombie mother birds. But, actually I empathise with them. Why? Because it will happen to me when my Bobby and Cathy fly off also. But, Uncle Tng got some tips for Empty Nesters. Don’t worry, Ummomy, let’s face this together!
Image source: Unsplash
What is the Empty Nest Syndrome?
It refers to the feelings of emptiness, sadness and anxiety some parents experience when all the children have left the family home to set up their own homes. It’s not a disease lah, neither is it an illness. But, the problem is very real. There are ways to cope with this departure of the children who used to sit on your lap.
1. Help them plan and pack
It’s a case of “If you can’t beat them, join them”. But no, not join them in their new home. But by helping them pack their stuff.
Image source: Pexels
Get involved with their moving-out plans and schedules. That way, it won’t be a sudden departure from your home. You can also discuss when they could come back to visit (of course the more often, the better!), e.g. Christmas, CNY. And oh yes, if they don’t offer you their house keys, don’t ask. Give them some space. I am very sure once they settle down, they will hand you a set. And when they do, please do not make unannounced visits! Curb your enthusiasm, parents. They need their privacy now!
2. Time to pursue all the activities you want
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It’s now time for more “me” time. Revive the hobbies you’ve always put on hold. Go out more often with your kakis. But, it is better to have group activities too, e.g. join a photography or cycling group. That way, you won’t feel so lonely.
3. Get lovey-dovey with your lau po again
Image source: Pexels
The only person who’s living with you! Now that you have time, spend it with her. Go for dates whenever you want. Eat out every night. Trust me, it will be guilt-free liberation. You are both free from your fatherly and motherly responsibilities. In fact, by spending time with her, you both won’t feel so “empty”!
4. Can’t join them, follow them
On social media, that is. That way, you can still be connected and see what’s happening in their lives, from a distance. But of course, don’t get offended if they don’t accept your “Request”. But, I am sure they will. They will miss you as much as you miss them. Just that they don’t want to say only.
5. Re-do your children’s room
It’s tempting, I know. You’ll steal a moment in the day to go smell the room, or to be more specific, your daughter’s favourite “chou chou” pillow. If you feel a bit sad, then renovate the room – so you won’t be reminded of them frequently. Hey, you can even convert it into your karaoke room! Just take a picture of her face when she sees her “new” room. It’ll be fun.
No matter how old your children are, they will always be your “little children”. Believe me. The house may be empty. But your heart will always be filled with lots of wonderful memories. And guess what, they will never leave you also lah. Just wait till they have children of their own!
The Patriach of the Tng family, Uncle Tng is a Grab driver with the gift of the gab. He’s loud, always trying to help and still uses the terms “Internet” and “Chat room”. As he sees himself as an experienced man of the world, he’s often sharing his worldly views, whether you are interested or not.